If youve ever wondered whether youre attracted to yourself or to no one at all, the answer lies in the difference between autosexual and asexual. Below youll find a fast, nofluff guide that explains the meaning, the signs, the overlap with other identities, and how to tell them apart plus a handy selftest and resources you can trust.
Lets cut the jargon, skip the history lecture, and dive straight into the stuff that matters to you right now. Whether youre curious about your own feelings or supporting a friend, this article gives you clear, compassionate answers.
Quick Definitions Overview
What Does Autosexual Mean?
In plain language, autosexuality means feeling sexual attraction toward yourself. Its not about narcissism or selfobsession; its simply a direction of desire that points inward. Many autosexual people enjoy solo sexual activity and may also feel excitement when they see themselves in a mirror, in photos, or even in their own imagination.
What Does Asexual Mean?
Asexuality describes a spectrum where a person experiences little or no sexual attraction to others. An asexual person can still have romantic feelings (they might identify as aroace), and they can also be allosexual thats the term for folks who do feel sexual attraction toward others.
Key Terms to Know
- Autosexual sexual attraction toward oneself.
- Asexual little or no sexual attraction to others.
- Allosexual experiences sexual attraction to others (the typical baseline).
- Demisexual attraction only after a deep emotional bond.
- Autosexual Flag a rainbowcolored banner representing the community.
- Autosexual Flag Meaning each stripe symbolizes selflove, selfacceptance, and visibility.
Core Differences Explained
Where the Attraction Points
Autosexual people feel desire directed at themselves; asexual people feel a lack of desire toward others. Think of it like a flashlight: the beam shines either inward or outward or sometimes not at all.
Emotional vs Physical Desire
Autosexual individuals often experience a strong physical response when they think about themselves, whereas asexuals might have emotional intimacy without the sexual spark. Both can still crave closeness, cuddles, or deep conversation.
Relationship Possibilities
You can be autosexual and still enjoy a romantic partnership, just as you can be asexual and have a fulfilling relationship. The key is clear communication about what kind of intimacy feels right.
Comparison Table
| Aspect | Autosexual | Asexual |
|---|---|---|
| Primary Attraction | Selfdirected | None toward others |
| Libido | Usually present | Varies; may be low or absent |
| Romantic Interest | Can be allosexual, asexual, or aro | Often aro, but can be allosexual |
| Common Misconceptions | Often confused with narcissism | Seen as cold or sexless |
Where Spectrums Overlap
Autosexual + Asexual = Autosexual Ace
Some people identify as both autosexual and asexual. In this case, the inward attraction coexists with a lack of outward sexual desire. Its a perfectly valid spot on the spectrum, and it highlights how fluid human sexuality really is.
Relation to Demisexual & GrayAce
Demisexuals need an emotional bond before any sexual spark appears. A grayace person feels sexual attraction rarely or under specific conditions. All three identities share the idea that attraction isnt simply on or off.
RealWorld Anecdote
Emma, a 27yearold graphic designer, described herself as an autosexual ace. She said, I love my body and find myself incredibly sexy, but I rarely feel any pull toward other people. Knowing Im not broken has been huge for my mental health. Stories like Emmas add a personal layer that data alone cant capture.
SelfIdentification Tools Guide
Autosexual Test How Reliable Is It?
Online quizzes can give you a feel for where you land, but keep in mind that theyre not clinical diagnoses. , a welldesigned autosexual test asks about the frequency of selforiented fantasies, pleasure from selfstimulation, and emotional responses to ones own image.
Asexuality Questionnaires
Most asexual surveys focus on the absence of sexual attraction and the presence of romantic or platonic desire. If you score low on sexual attraction across both selfdirected and otherdirected items, youre likely on the asexual side of the spectrum.
StepbyStep Guide
- Find a reputable quiz (look for sites run by sexology professionals).
- Answer honestlydont try to fit a label.
- Note the patterns: Are you attracted to yourself, to others, or to neither?
- Read the result explanation and see if it resonates.
- If youre unsure, consider talking to a therapist who specializes in sexual orientation.
Autosexual vs Narcissism Myth
Is Autosexuality a Form of Narcissism?
Short answer: No. Autosexuality is about where desire points; narcissism is a personality trait involving an inflated sense of selfimportance. The two can coexist, but one does not cause the other.
Autosexual Narcissist What the Phrase Actually Means
Sometimes people use autosexual narcissist to label anyone who seems overly focused on themselves. Thats a misuse of both terms. Autosexual people can be humble, shy, or deeply introspectivejust like anyone else.
Expert Insight
Dr. Laura Stevens, a clinical psychologist, explains that conflating sexuality with personality disorders skews public understanding and can harm individuals seeking acceptance. She advises using precise language and separating the concepts in discussions.
Autosexual Flag Meaning
What Does the Autosexual Flag Look Like?
The flag features four horizontal stripes: pink, purple, blue, and white. Pink stands for selflove, purple for community, blue for visibility, and white for acceptance.
How the Flag Is Used in LGBTQIA+ Spaces
People fly the flag at Pride events, share it on social media, and wear it on pins or tees to signal their identity. Its a visual reminder that loving yourself is a legitimate orientation, not a joke.
Image Suggestions
When you embed a flag image, include alt text like Autosexual pride flag with pink, purple, blue, and white stripes to improve accessibility and SEO.
Relationship Dynamics Tips
Dating as an Autosexual
Being open about your selfdirected desire can feel vulnerable, but honesty builds trust. Try saying, I experience a lot of sexual pleasure on my own, so Id love to explore how we can share intimacy together. Partners often appreciate the clarity.
Dating as an Asexual
Explain your boundaries early: Im asexual, which means I dont feel sexual attraction, but I value emotional closeness and cuddling. Many allosexual partners are happy to adapt when they understand the distinction.
Checklist for Partners
- Ask about comfort with solo sexual activity.
- Discuss what kinds of physical affection feel good.
- Set boundaries around porn, sexting, and bedroom expectations.
- Revisit the conversation as the relationship evolves.
Helpful Resources List
Trusted Online Communities
Check out the Asexual Visibility & Education Network (AVEN) for forums, the r/autosexual subreddit for personal stories, and various LGBTQIA+ Discord servers for realtime support.
Professional Help
Look for therapists who list sexual orientation counseling on directories like Psychology Today. A qualified sex therapist can help you sort through feelings, set boundaries, and communicate with partners.
Suggested Reading
For deeper dives, read articles on Healthline, MedicalNewsToday, and Verywell Mind that cover the scientific background of autosexuality and asexuality.
Conclusion and Next Steps
Autosexuality and asexuality sit on opposite ends of the attraction spectrumone pulls toward the self, the other pulls away from othersyet they can intersect in nuanced ways. Understanding the core definitions, spotting the key differences, and using reliable selftests empowers you to label your experience accurately and communicate it confidently. Whether youre exploring personal identity, supporting a friend, or simply curious, the resources and expert insights above give you a solid foundation for respectful, informed conversations.
Whats your story? Share your experiences in the comments, ask any lingering questions, or reach out to a qualified therapist for personalized guidance. Youre not alone on this journey, and together we can make the conversation around sexuality richer and kinder.
For readers interested in related pelvic health topics that can affect sexual comfort and solo practices, see strengthen pelvic floor for exercises and tips to improve pelvic tone and awareness.
FAQs
What is the main difference between autosexual and asexual?
Autosexual people feel sexual attraction toward themselves, while asexual people experience little or no sexual attraction toward others.
Can someone identify as both autosexual and asexual?
Yes. Many describe themselves as “autosexual ace,” meaning they are attracted to themselves but do not feel sexual desire toward other people.
How can I tell if I’m autosexual?
Look for patterns such as frequent self‑directed fantasies, pleasure from seeing yourself in mirrors or photos, and a strong physical response to solo sexual activity.
Is autosexuality a form of narcissism?
No. Autosexuality is about the direction of sexual desire, whereas narcissism involves an inflated sense of self‑importance. The two can coexist but are unrelated.
What resources can help me understand autosexuality and asexuality?
Trusted sites include AVEN (Asexual Visibility & Education Network), the r/autosexual subreddit, Healthline articles, and therapists who specialize in sexual orientation counseling.
